Friday, June 13

On Friday June 13 at 3:30 pm, I start a new chapter in my life.

This will be the last day of work for me...I submitted my resignation.

Some people are happy for me and others think I've lost my mind but it was my choice. Some women can "do it all" and find a balance between motherhood and having a career. But I think those women don't have 3 children and they're in a career that they enjoy, they feel fulfilled and good about what they do.

My position was just a job and not a career. I didn't feel fulfilled and Monday - Friday I felt the horrible sick feeling of knowing I have to drag myself into that office. My supervisor is a very negative and critical person who strives to micro-manage her staff. You never hear positive feedback, it's all negative and at times humiliating. You work many weekends and long hours. Plus when you're not at work you worry about what the next day will bring. It's very stressful.

I don't want to do it anymore. Money is important but it's not everything. For my own sanity and happiness, I had to resign. I'm not happy and my job was not going to get better, in fact it would be getting worse. Yesterday due to poor sales and the economy, they've started the cutbacks and several people in management and the office were let go.

I'm scared and nervous about my decision but in my heart I know I made the best decision for my family and my happiness. It was time to move on. I hope my friends and family understand and will support me in my decision. It's done now and I can't reverse it. My employer made that very clear to me that once you do it, it's no going back.

If I want to work full-time again, I will get another job. I am looking to find a small part-time job to be able to get out and have some extra money. You only have one chance when your kids are little and once it's gone, it's gone. I've never been able to do this as I've been working since I was barely 16 years old and I've been working full-time since I was 18 years old. I never went to college...I was always working as I had no choice. I would have liked to have become a pharamacist or a nurse.

At one point in my life when Will was a baby I was working a full-time job and two part-time jobs. It's been hard at times missing so much of Will's life when he was young but I had no choice but to do it. You can't turn back the clock but I can change my future.

Life goes on and a new chapter begins.

A Picture Says It All

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This one says a lot!! The look on Hayden's face is priceless.

My Boys

I think these are some cute pictures of the boys playing around together. Will is in his Louisville Cardinals jersey and Hayden is wearing a New England Patriots jersey that once belong to Will.

Will now says when he sees it "what was I thinking wearing that" but it was several years ago in his defense. They were playing "foooot bull" as Hayden will pronounce it with a little Nerf football. Even though they're 9 years apart in age, they still like to play around together. It helps that Hayden just adores Will too.

Little Lily Girl

This is my last week of being home with the Lily girl. I can't think about it too much or I'll begin crying. I can't believe how fast these 8 weeks have gone. I have so much fun being with her and she's starting to giggle and get her own personality. She has learned to turn the charm on, especially with daddy and her brothers.

We went to the doctor yesterday and she's now 10 lbs. 15 oz. which is in the 55th. percentile for her weight and she's 22 3/4" long which is in the 76th. percentile for her height. The eczema on her face is getting better but it's still there. She got three shots which resulted in her being fussy most of the night and running a low grade temp. She seems to be back to herself again today.

Lily turned 8 weeks old on Friday and here's the information about her at the moment:

- She doesn't like her arms to be covered or a blanket to be wrapped around her too snug.

- When she begins to get upset, the right leg will go up and down like she's riding a bike.

- She has a "pout lip" and it will pop out when upset or going to cry. (This results in big brothers coming to her rescue immediately)

- No longer curls up in the fetal position. She likes to stick her arms and legs out now.

- Hates being in the carseat. Will tolerate it only if the car or stroller is actually moving.

- Has a little stuffed yellow duck that she likes to smile at. It has a yellow fluff on it's head which reminds me of Lily and her little long piece of hair at the crown of her head.

- Eating about every 2 1/2 hours 4 oz. of formula at a time.

- Smiles a lot and will giggle if her lips are brushed with the blanket or burp cloth.

- Loves to take a bath and never cries.

- Likes the pacifier.

- Sleeping about 6 hours straight each night. Will generally go down at 10:00 pm and up again between 3:30 - 4:30 am.

- Getting much better at holding her head up.

- It takes her the longest time to wake up. She will stretch and grunt for a good 5 minutes before her eyes will actually open.

Digital Scrapbook Page

I'm taking an on-line digital scrapbooking course and I completed my first page tonight. I think I really like this. :-)

Commercial

I love this commercial.

Scrapbook Pages

Here's some scrapbook pages that I've completed recently. Yes, I find some time to do it. It's rare but it makes me very happy.

I'm Thinking About...

I was taking pictures of Lily and happened to catch this shot. It looks like she's day dreaming about something fun.

Returning To Work

I spoke with my employer today and I'll officially be returning to work on Monday, May 19. Lily will be 9 weeks old then. I'm sad and not happy about returning but this date is much better than the date they were requesting me to return. I won't have much vacation left as I'm using most of it now but it's SO worth it to be home as long as possible with Lily. These moments are precious and it's time you will never get back. The newborn stage doesn't last long...they grow and change so fast. Plus she's our last baby. I don't want to miss anything.

I hope I won't be staying long though. I've been applying numerous places and been offered two jobs already but in the end the hours wouldn't work for me. I wish potential employers would be up front about the hours and not keep it such a secret. Both didn't reveal the "true" hours till it was negotiation time with Human Resources.

I hope something will come along very soon that will work for me and our family. If not, then I plan on quitting with nothing to go to. If they are as horrible as they were before I went out on maternity leave, then I will be quitting very soon after I return. I had a baby. I don't understand why my supervisor has been so mean about it. Yes, I left sooner than they expected but it was for my health and the health of the baby and that was way more important than a job. It wasn't my decision but the decision of my doctor. They had months to prepare for me going out on leave but they chose to wait till the last minute. Many women can't work up until the day they deliver and I just happened to be one of them this time.

I'm off to go fix dinner as we are eating outside on the patio. It's turning into a beautiful spring evening. Perfect way to end a sunny warm day.

Something Cute

I ordered this for myself today. I think it's SO cute!! I love how it has three frames so I can put the kids pictures inside plus the color is perfect.

Big Brothers

Lily has two big brothers who love to hold and cuddle her. I think she prefers to cuddle up to Will as she always falls asleep when she is with him. With Hayden...hmm, I think the look says it all.

A Happy Little Girl